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Interview: Pregnancy And Peeing Your Pants With Dame CEO Alex Fine
As one of the co-founders and CEO of Dame Products, Alex Fine has been researching and exploring bodies and pleasure since 2014. Now, as she comes to the end of her first pregnancy, she shares with us some of what she's learned about her own body and its changing needs during this time.
What's bringing you pleasure these days (in any form)?
I'm really prioritizing self-pleasure. Especially because partner play is a little more complicated right now. For one, I'm waking up in the middle of the night often, as pregnant women do, and my mind loves to remind me of all the emails I haven't written. At night, my brain is really amazing at stressing out about small things that don't feel as stressful in the morning.
Anyways, I self-pleasure often at 2 am while my partner sleeps next to me. I move my hips, I take deep breaths, I let my fantasies run wild and of course, I take out my Pom (unless it's dead and then I use Arc or Kip... sometimes I use a competitor product for research... but mostly I use Pom). When I self-pleasure, my anxieties slip away, I release energy and then sometimes I fall back asleep.
What's the most surprising thing nobody told you about being pregnant?
My body is shapeshifting. My desire for sex has flowed up and down while my ability to feel pleasure has well honestly.... mostly gone out the window. But there is already so much physical pressure associated with pregnancy—if you don't know it, your bladder will soon—so no need to add any pressure to the mix. Your libido will likely ebb and flow. It is all good. Communicate your needs, communicate your desire, your lack of desire, and remember sex doesn't have to start with being horny, it can start with the priority to have sex, it can start with a massage or it can not start at all.
If you wrote a memoir of your time being pregnant, what would the title be?
Peeing in your pants is beautiful: learning to be grateful for discomfort.
What traits do you hope you pass along to your child?
Hmmm...I hope my child has my confidence. I want my kid to believe in their ability to do anything. We are all made of the same stuff and no one knows what they are doing.
What's been your favorite Dame product during pregnancy?
Pom is my tried and true favorite. And Pillo! Pillo! Pillo is amazing for making sex more pleasurable in the third trimester. I can tell my husband isn't as concerned about hitting the belly and it feels better for me with the bolster.
