Feeling 'Touched Out'? It’s completely normal. So let’s talk about it.

May 06, 2022 2 min read

by Tugce Balik // @tugcebalik

Did you know that parents only get 32 minutes a day for themselves, leading many new parents to feel “touched out”. 

Feeling “touched out” can be described as being completely saturated with physical touch, to the extent that the idea or attempt at one more attempt at physicality creates feelings of stress and anxiety. 

Society tells us that there are so many *shoulds*  when it comes to motherhood. How we should: 

  • Enjoy nursing 
  • Be grateful that the baby is breastfeeding
  • Play more with the kids
  • Spend more time with our partners
  • Have a higher libido
  • Stay home with the baby 

As a result of all these *shoulds*, we might be trapped feeling guilty and exhausted. It might feel like an internal battle as we feel the pull to provide more love, affection and physical comfort to our child. And yet at the same, we crave personal time and have a need for bodily autonomy. 

Parents get 32 minutes a day for themselves

We need to start having more conversations and normalizing this need. Feelings of being touched out are completely normal. It’s your body’s response to being a sensory overload. So If you ever feel guilty, anxious or overwhelmed that your emotions are making you not want to be touched (by your child or partner), remember that this is a physical response and is 100% valid. 

It might seem counterintuitive but you can use self-touch as an antidote to being touched out. Your body might have changed but it still responds to pleasure! Take the time to sensualize with yourself on a regular basis. This can help aid in regulating your emotional, physical and mental wellbeing.

You can touch yourself non-sexually (by giving yourself a massage for example) or sexually (through your self-pleasure practice). The most important thing to remember here is that there should be no pressure of pleasing someone else; this is purely for you! The only goal is to connect with your pleasure. 

So just tune in to your body, take your time, and connect with all micro pleasure senses that arise with your touch, really feeling and sensing how it feels in your body.