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Grounding through a Pleasure Practice
by Tatiana Fogt
Tatiana Fogt is a designer, podcaster & strategist helping brands (on missions to better the world) connect to their authentic communities!
Between working with brands, Tatiana is also the host of a podcast series & activist platform called Bedside, where she explores sexual health & wellness in the digital age. Bedside is a contemporary resource for Good Sex. Each week on Bedside, you'll hear intimate interviews and explorations into modern day sex, dating, love, and wellness.
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Outercourse
There is so much value that lies in the power of our pleasure. That same za-za-zing you have in the bedroom plays out in so many ways outside of the bedroom! Think of your pleasure as your mojo, your umph, that thing that just makes you,you.And whether we want it to or not, it shows up with us every single day in everything we do. We’ve just forgotten (read: been culturally reprimanded) to acknowledge it!
What I consider a major disservice to ourselves (put on us by lame sex-negative messaging) is that our sexually empowered selves = grand sexual gestures. Gestures that we can only act out in the bedroom, at a certain hour, and with certain people. But what our sexually empowered selves really equate to is ourlife-force-energy. It shows up in the little moments, the mundane, the way we smile at a stranger, and the way we fill our blank spaces. It shows up in the way we treat our friends, and the way we treat ourselves. Intimacy in the bedroom is only a small percentage of our sensuality.
So I’m here to share a few of my pleasure practices lately. They highlight each of the 5 senses, target our feel-good chemicals, and honor the small yet inspiring ways pleasure can become a part of your day.
If I have one wish for you, it’s to bring intentionality to the possibilities that pleasure holds.
Smell:
Scent is so deeply pleasurable. Think pheromones or a fresh bouquet of roses. We can activate our feel-good neurotransmitters serotonin and dopamine through aromatherapy to relieve stress, anxiety, and boost our moods. Lately my Daily Walks have sparked this side of my sensuality. Taking in the blooming spring and fresh air around me has given me so much joy. I also love a great candle like theMar Mar Saint Martin to set the tone for a ~scientifically proven~ mood boost.
Taste:
Did you know our brains don’t know the difference between a good meal and having sex? It activates the same parts of the brain and chemical releases! For many, myself included, cooking had become a beautiful ritual the past two years. Evendark chocolate is known to activate our serotonin and endorphins levels.
Sight:
Play is such an integral part of our pleasure system. To get those endorphins going I love to keep active and get outside. On days where I’m relaxing, a good NYT Crossword orpuzzle like this activate both the left + right hemispheres of the brain — proven to enhance your mood and lower stress.
Touch:
Touch leads to so much of our connectivity. Lately I’ve been really into dry brushing. Before a shower I’ll just brush my whole body and it’s so invigorating. It gets the blood flowing and calms the nervous system. A cold shower is a bonus too for an added dopamine boost. I also am a massive fan of lube for some post-shower solo play. My favorites includeMaude Shine and it helps me get into the feel-good chemical release.
Sound:
Music is known to release oxytocin which is often known as the “love hormone”. It strengthens emotional bonds and openness. I’ve been tapping into my sensuality through not only great sex playlists, but also audio erotica with Dipsea. You can listen to my interview with their founder on theBedside podcast here too!
