February 08, 2021 5 min read
You need to know what you are dealing with. Most sex-ed courses do not include any information about how feeling good happens. So let's break down the anatomy of arousal.
Vulvas have erections, too. We have just as much erectile tissue as penises; it's just arranged differently. Most of us don't realize we have them (erections) because they are inside of us (under the skin). Because our society is so sexually repressed, most of this information isn't available in medical textbooks, let alone in high school health classes.
Watch this 3-minute video by one of my teacher's Dr. Betty Dodson, for the full breakdown:
As you can see, there are lots of exciting places for you to explore.
If you are new to B.E.D.s, think of your exploration tools as being in two categories: internal and external, with some of them able to do both.
One of the most popular sex toy styles is the rabbit. The rabbit has two parts: (1) a dildo that goes inside the vagina and (2) a second arm that hooks around the outside of the body to stimulate the glans of the clitoris.
You won't see any of these available in our collection of B.E.D.s for a few reasons. They lock you into place, which means you aren't able to switch up how you use them = no exploration. They don't fit all bodies.
Do you know how it is harder to find a one-piece jumpsuit as opposed to a two-piece sweatsuit? B.E.D.s are like that. You want to have individual pieces that can move easily and don't rely too heavily on fit.
Erectile tissue feels good because the blood inside the tissue has fluffed it up to create surface tension, which allows you to feel more in the same area than if you weren't aroused.
Use your hands to get to know your body and what helps it get your erectile tissue fluffed up. You want to use lube like this one.And don't just go straight for the gold. Treat yourself like a lover. Massage your inner thighs, your butt, your stomach, whatever feels good for you, before you move to your vulva.
Once things are flowing, use more lube to avoid the surface tension you create from getting irritated. It's all about the glide, my friends. And don't worry if your body isn't producing a ton of its own lubrication. We all make different amounts, depending on our cycles and season of life, and research shows that the amount we make is not necessarily correlated with how turned on we are either.
Start small: Dame Bullet
Simple, waterproof, rumbly (as opposed to a higher-pitched vibration, which can feel irritating on the skin)
Go all out: Iroha Tori
Super soft silicone, squishy, with a finger-like extension for when you've found a spot you want to give more precise stimulation to. A bonus of this B.E.D. is that it fits super well between two bodies, making it the perfect device to introduce into partner exploration.
Some of my favourite B.E.D.s for internal exploration
Start small: Iroha +
This device is perfect for external explorers that are curious about what's inside. Most people are too aggressive when they start internal exploration; this device's small round head fits perfectly just inside the entrance of the vagina. Spin it around slowly and notice how the slight ridge on the head feels against your body. With enough length for more in-depth exploration available, this B.E.D. is the perfect bridge between worlds.
Go all out: Iroha Mikazuki or Minamo
I love both of these for their soft feeling and curve. The Mikazuki is slightly more slender and smoother in shape, where the Minamo has ridges and a wider body. If you are newer to internal exploration, I would start with the Mikazuki.
Once you get the hang of both external and internal explorations, you can combine the two. I know. Exciting, but maybe overwhelming. Just like piano lessons, master each hand first, before you bring them together.
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